


My Last Mission Under Different Stars

by bardsley



Category: Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: 5 Times, Gen, Pre-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-02
Updated: 2018-02-02
Packaged: 2019-03-12 15:21:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,005
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13550091
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bardsley/pseuds/bardsley
Summary: This is a sequential double-drabble series about five times young Spock found himself caught between two worlds, and how music was a constant in both.





	My Last Mission Under Different Stars

**Author's Note:**

> Belatedly edited by DarkAngelAzrael, who it turns out I cannot do without. All prior and remaining mistakes are mine.

**I**

Music, for Spock, is his mother. It’s her fingertips dancing across piano keys while he rests on a blanket nearby, her gentle humming as she attends to a chore, her voice singing songs from a distant world. She scoops his little body into her arms and cradles him against her warmth. Spock is finally old enough to make the words. He sings back to her. He feels through her skin her moment of surprise, and then the bubbling warmth of her laughter. They sing, almost harmonizing. I-Chaya raises her furry head and howls, too. They laugh, Spock and his mother.  
  
Spock hears his father enter. Sarek’s arrival is loud in its silence. No more howling. No more singing. No more laughter. Sarek takes Spock from his mother’s arms and stands him on the ground. Sarek takes Spock by the hand, leading him from the room. Spock’s little legs have trouble keeping up. He does not complain. They are alone in his father’s rooms. The large windows are open to the sky. Sarek places in Spock’s hands a Vulcan harp. Sarek guides Spock’s small fingers across the stiff strings. Spock obediently follows the movement. They play Vulcan songs under Vulcan’s stars.  


  
  


**II**

Spock and his classmates are approaching the age of the _Kahs-wan_. They practiced for weeks to perform a concert for their families to honor this end to childhood. Spock is aware he is lacking as a son, but in this he is certain he can adequately discharge this duty. Even father acknowledges Spock is a competent player. When the beat of the music quickens, so does Spock’s heartbeat. He closes his eyes and sways in time to the rhythm. He loses himself in the music and this moment when he feels connected, at last, to everyone else through this song.  
  
He hears the murmur moving through the crowd. But it is only indistinct background noise, like the sound of waves crashing against a distant shore. Then some of the other players stop. The drummer misses Spock’s cue. Spock opens his eyes. The lights are bright. In the empty eyes of the audience, Spock can see what he has done. Having exposed emotion leaves him unable to move. Shame is naked on his face. His father stands. The silence that was already growing in the audience is complete. Sound is dead. When Sarek sits down, Spock and the others resume playing.  


  
  


**III**

Spock closes the door to his room. There is no lock. That is no inconvenience. He is not doing anything which anyone, least of all Sarek, might find questionable. It was Sarek who introduced Spock to the Vulcan harp, after all. Spock is merely practicing. It is logical to explore ways in which other cultures have used music as means of self-expression. It is the explanation Spock has prepared in the event that the closed door should open. Spock cues the holographic projection. The quality is questionable, based as it is on a recording made in the late 20th century.  
  
The musicians are dressed as people in the past thought people in the future would dress, galaxy gowns and velveteen caps. Spock watches Sun Ra, the human from Saturn, his dark face resplendent as he leads his Arkestra. Maybe Spock does not belong in this scene, either. He picks up his harp and plays with the musicians playing bongos, flutes, and vibraphones. He hums along with a woman singing hopefully about a future that is now the past. If Spock is at all out of tune with the bassoons and brass trumpets, there is no one else around to hear.  


  
  


**IV**

The visiting Starfleet officers arranged a concert to thank their Vulcan hosts. If anyone had bothered to inform the officers the sentiment of gratitude was misplaced, Spock was not aware. As part of Ambassador Sarek’s household, Spock was present. He sat in the audience, hands folded in his lap. Spock’s mother smiled in a way unbecoming of her station, suggesting excitement. The Starfleet officers filed onto the stage beneath the roughly carved stone arch of the amphitheater. They were predominantly Terrans, however, Spock also observed Andorians, a Deltan, and a Tellarite. Upon their entrance, the audience, naturally, did not applaud.  
  
Although the songs were competently played, Spock remained mindful of who he was and where he was. As was expected, members of the Vulcan delegation were asked to join the Starfleet officers on stage. Unexpectedly, they began to play “Love in Outer Space”. The song selection seemed audacious to the point of blatant insult. But not only did the Vulcan musicians play, they played well, improvising along with the other musicians. The way that the musicians harmonized was unlike anything that Spock had experienced. Spock imagined himself on stage, being part of that harmony rather than just listening to it.  


  
  


**V**

Sarek almost appears to vibrate, however, his expression remains self-contained. It is not as if Spock wanted Sarek to be enraged. Spock’s choice not to join the Vulcan Science Academy is in no way a reflection on his father. Sarek leaves. Spock is aware that he ought not follow.

Spock has not been adept at avoiding things Sarek thought he should. Spock seeks out Sarek. He brings his harp.

 

Sarek is unsurprised. “If you are to leave, I have made arrangements for you to leave tomorrow,” Sarek informs Spock. “You will not return.”

 

“Understood,” Spock replies. “Will you play with me tonight?”

 

That, evidently, was not what Sarek expected Spock to say. Spock feels a momentary sense of satisfaction at that, for which he reproves himself. Sarek examines his son as if Spock were an unfamiliar specimen. Eventually, he nods in agreement. Sarek collects his own harp.

 

They play the old songs. Both, at first, merely repeating familiar motions. Then music warms their blood. Spock’s mission is to show his father he has not abandoned all that has been taught to him.  They play Vulcan songs beneath the Vulcan stars. For now they are in harmony. It is almost enough.

**Author's Note:**

> A recording of Sun Ra Arkestra’s “Love in Outer Space” is available [here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=arh3rRYyBL8). 
> 
> This story was written for the [Poetry Fiction Challenge](https://poetry-fiction.dreamwidth.org/) on DreamWidth. The poem given as a prompt is below. 
> 
>  
> 
> Between Two Worlds  
> Sun Ra & His Solar Arkestra  
> at The Painted Bride Art Center, 1992  
> by Major Jackson
> 
> Galaxy gowns  
> & velveteen caps,  
> A pageant of black  
> Mummers, fire-eaters,  
> *  
> Flying afrobats,  
> In The Month of May  
> Arrival Zone USA  
> Bongos, bamboo  
> *  
> Flutes, clavinettes,  
> We cross the stage  
> Like a rope of knotted  
> Elephants, shambling  
> *  
> Single file. Tonight's  
> Probe: Was God  
> An Astronaut? Sun  
> Harps, space drums,  
> *  
> Vibraphones, I dream  
> Of Saturn, my home  
> Moon, Phoebe, my last  
> Mission under  
> *  
> Different stars,  
> I strike the keyboard,  
> Prelude to Stargazers,  
> & recall that night  
> *  
> At Club de Lisa's,  
> 1946, a party of white  
> Patrons pulling back  
> The curtain separating  
> *  
> The races. Sound  
> Scopes, Rocksichords,  
> Oboes, 5 billion  
> People on this earth  
> *  
> All out of tune.  
> Minutes from  
> The cracked bell  
> I plot a map  
> *  
> Of stars: Ursa Major  
> to Vine & 2nd & order  
> This gathering of  
> Intelligent earthlings  
> *  
> To embark upon tonight's  
> Spaceship—Infinity, Inc.  
> Cosmic koras, bassoons  
> Sharp, brass trumpets  
> *  
> Beam on  
> The cyclorama, Novas  
> Moons & Jupiter's  
> Baleful eye. Cow bells  
> *  
> Wind synths, organ  
> Music. My Myth  
> Space Lab, next best  
> Thing to a crystal ball.


End file.
